The growing process involved in being a therapist in training

As I mentioned earlier I am a grad student and I just started my year long practicum (internship) process.  I have been shadowing for the last month.  I get to start seeing clients on my own after May 7, 2012 when my malpractice insurance kicks in.  I am so excited and so nervous at the same time.  I am so afraid that I won't know what to do.  And in the beginning I probably will feel pretty lost.  On top of all of my apprehension regarding all of this I am taking over a dear friend's case load when she leaves in June.  I started shadowing her last night.  I was so amazed and proud that my friend is so awesome! I knew she was smart but I was really amazed to see how good she is.  It was great seeing her in action and being able to give her feedback and encouragement as to how awesome she is.  On the other hand...I am so intimidated to take over her clients. In the beginning there is no way I can be as good as she is.  I think we will also have different styles of doing therapy.  I left last night feeling emotionally exhausted.  The sessions weren't mentally draining but the realization that these people will be MY clients was overwhelming last night. 

Another difficult thing about last night was learning that a client we started seeing on my very first day exited the program.  I really liked this client.  This client was so sweet and so cute  I was starting to feel confident that I could work with this client on my own.  But now this client is gone and chances are good that I will never see them again.  This is a early lesson about how clients will come in and out of my life.  My supervisor processed this with me.  He said that I need to learn how to be present with the client when I am with them but that I needed to learn to let go when I am not with them. I also received my first constructive criticism.  My supervisor told me that he can tell that I am a very caring person and that I really want to help people but that I need to be very careful because this level of caring can cause me to cross boundaries I shouldn't and get too emotionally attached.  This type of attachment can cause me stress and pain that I need to try to avoid.  It is so easy for him to say since he has been doing this for many years.  But as a new therapist this will be a skill I will need to work on.  Some things just take time to figure out.