Another difficult thing about last night was learning that a client we started seeing on my very first day exited the program. I really liked this client. This client was so sweet and so cute I was starting to feel confident that I could work with this client on my own. But now this client is gone and chances are good that I will never see them again. This is a early lesson about how clients will come in and out of my life. My supervisor processed this with me. He said that I need to learn how to be present with the client when I am with them but that I needed to learn to let go when I am not with them. I also received my first constructive criticism. My supervisor told me that he can tell that I am a very caring person and that I really want to help people but that I need to be very careful because this level of caring can cause me to cross boundaries I shouldn't and get too emotionally attached. This type of attachment can cause me stress and pain that I need to try to avoid. It is so easy for him to say since he has been doing this for many years. But as a new therapist this will be a skill I will need to work on. Some things just take time to figure out.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The growing process involved in being a therapist in training
As I mentioned earlier I am a grad student and I just started my year long practicum (internship) process. I have been shadowing for the last month. I get to start seeing clients on my own after May 7, 2012 when my malpractice insurance kicks in. I am so excited and so nervous at the same time. I am so afraid that I won't know what to do. And in the beginning I probably will feel pretty lost. On top of all of my apprehension regarding all of this I am taking over a dear friend's case load when she leaves in June. I started shadowing her last night. I was so amazed and proud that my friend is so awesome! I knew she was smart but I was really amazed to see how good she is. It was great seeing her in action and being able to give her feedback and encouragement as to how awesome she is. On the other hand...I am so intimidated to take over her clients. In the beginning there is no way I can be as good as she is. I think we will also have different styles of doing therapy. I left last night feeling emotionally exhausted. The sessions weren't mentally draining but the realization that these people will be MY clients was overwhelming last night.
Another difficult thing about last night was learning that a client we started seeing on my very first day exited the program. I really liked this client. This client was so sweet and so cute I was starting to feel confident that I could work with this client on my own. But now this client is gone and chances are good that I will never see them again. This is a early lesson about how clients will come in and out of my life. My supervisor processed this with me. He said that I need to learn how to be present with the client when I am with them but that I needed to learn to let go when I am not with them. I also received my first constructive criticism. My supervisor told me that he can tell that I am a very caring person and that I really want to help people but that I need to be very careful because this level of caring can cause me to cross boundaries I shouldn't and get too emotionally attached. This type of attachment can cause me stress and pain that I need to try to avoid. It is so easy for him to say since he has been doing this for many years. But as a new therapist this will be a skill I will need to work on. Some things just take time to figure out.
Another difficult thing about last night was learning that a client we started seeing on my very first day exited the program. I really liked this client. This client was so sweet and so cute I was starting to feel confident that I could work with this client on my own. But now this client is gone and chances are good that I will never see them again. This is a early lesson about how clients will come in and out of my life. My supervisor processed this with me. He said that I need to learn how to be present with the client when I am with them but that I needed to learn to let go when I am not with them. I also received my first constructive criticism. My supervisor told me that he can tell that I am a very caring person and that I really want to help people but that I need to be very careful because this level of caring can cause me to cross boundaries I shouldn't and get too emotionally attached. This type of attachment can cause me stress and pain that I need to try to avoid. It is so easy for him to say since he has been doing this for many years. But as a new therapist this will be a skill I will need to work on. Some things just take time to figure out.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Up and running
I realized that tomorrow will be a busy day at my practicum site and I will not be home most of the day to start tackling my projects. I made a HUGE list of all of the cleaning/organizing that I would like to get done. I also want to freshen things up decor wise but I plan on doing everything cheap/free. I really need to look at what I have and try to rework it. Today I did check somethings off of my list. I worked on picking up the garage for a little while while the kiddos played outside. During Smash (my new favorite show!) I cleaned the fireplace and mantle and cleaned our leather chair. It felt nice to accomplish something. Today was a productive day!
The plan for tomorrow:
I am excited about this and I think I have my sister on board too. My niece's birthday is in a few weeks so she is motivated to get things clean and in order for the party. I love having a clean and organized home. I started feeling very overwhelmed when I was making my lists but I kept reminding myself that alot of things on the list will only take minutes and I have plenty of time. I am anticipating that once I am done I will have to come up with a plan to maintain my newly clean and organized house. It will probably just become an endless cycle and that is just fine with me!! If my house can stay clean and I can get a good workout I will be very happy!
The plan for tomorrow:
- After coffee, before leaving for practicum I am going to do a very quick clean and organizing of our bathroom cabinet.
- Then I am going to hop in the shower and clean the shower walls, bath and doors. I figure this will kill three birds with one stone...shower, workout and clean! Score!!!
- In the evening once the kids are in bed I will pick something else to tackle. I'm still not sure what. If I am not totally spent from my day at practicum then I may start working on the kids room. It truly is a HOT MESS!!! Ugh!! Its amazing how quickly two boys can destroy a room! If I am too tired I will probably just organize the coat closet.
I am excited about this and I think I have my sister on board too. My niece's birthday is in a few weeks so she is motivated to get things clean and in order for the party. I love having a clean and organized home. I started feeling very overwhelmed when I was making my lists but I kept reminding myself that alot of things on the list will only take minutes and I have plenty of time. I am anticipating that once I am done I will have to come up with a plan to maintain my newly clean and organized house. It will probably just become an endless cycle and that is just fine with me!! If my house can stay clean and I can get a good workout I will be very happy!
Getting Started!
A few things...
- I have been off work for almost 6 months trying to get my depression and anxiety under control. I have done pretty well and I am scheduled to return to work on June 11, 2012. This is the week after my son goes on Summer Break. It's hard to believe that it is a month and a half away! Time Flies!! During the summer I will have to juggle working part time, seeing clients at my practicum site, taking two classes, entertaining bored children on Summer Break, and avoid starting to stress eat again!
- I recently decided to take control of my eating and started reading The Beck Diet Solution. Using the steps from the book I started a healthy eating plan along with my sister. I have lost 10 pounds in the last month and a half. My weight loss has kinda stalled and I know that I need to start exercising. I HATE EXERCISE!!! I dislike it on so many levels.
So with all of that said I had a realization this morning. I want to get my house in order before I go back to work and if I can do the cleaning/organizing vigorously, I can make a workout out of it!! Two birds, one stone!! So this will be my first Hot Mess to Happiness Challenge. Today I am going to make a plan of attack and tomorrow I am going to get started. Tomorrow I will post my plan. If anyone is interested, jump in and join me. I am forcing my sister to do it with me. She doesn't know this yet. LOL! She hates working out too (but not as much as I do) so I'm sure she will be game!
A little explanation...
The title of this blog is a little dramatic, just like me... ;) I am a mom, wife, grad student and a MFT trainee. While in reality I am not a complete Hot Mess I often feel like I am and feel like I can do and be so much better. I do what I can to stay afloat. My house is clean enough. My kids are happy and healthy enough. I do well in my classes (I am getting my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy). I eat relatively healthy (I had gastric bypass almost 3 years ago and have maintained most of my weight loss). I can look nice when I want to. My husband and I have a good relationship. I struggle with depression but I am feeling better (that took a while). I am happy, most of the time. But I want more. I want to live a better life. I want to feel more in control of my home, my health, and my emotions. As I start to really practice being a therapist (just started my practicum for school) I am reminded that I still have a lot of growing to do, mentally and emotionally. To me part of growing mentally and emotionally requires that I take better care of myself, my home, and my relationships. I want to feel like I have it more "together." I want to be genuine with my clients and help them to lead more productive lives. In order to do this I feel like I need to make some fundamental changes in my life. This blog will follow my journey as I attempt to go from a Hot Mess to a Happier person.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)